The Road - A Review

In a moment the world changed for ever

"He knew only that his child was his warrant"

Letter-sized paper (8.5 x 11 inches). Written in Courier font, 12 point, 10 pitch. No bold, no italics.

The Road - A Review

FADE IN:

ESTABLISHING SHOT: EXT. SOHO, LONDON - EVENING
Light rain falls as a small group of people enter the MPC Screening Rooms building. Modern cars and taxis drive by in the rain lite up by neon lights. We hear the buzz and excitement of a big city on a Friday evening.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

I love film. I love everything about film. All my life, I've always wanted to make movies. I dislike reviews and I'm torn on film marketing. In fact I think reviews and marketing is damaging film. I guess some explanation is necessary.

[FLASHBACK TO: INT. A MODERN MID-70s DUPLEX, PARADISE VALLEY, NATAL – DAY (1975)]
A children's birthday party, in the semi dark everyone's eyes glued to a flickering make shift screen as Ian Fleming's Goldfinger plays out.

NARRATOR (CONT'D): (V.O.)

See that kid there, his face full of chocolate cake, his eyes wide and his mouth open. The cake half chewed. Well that's me, and that's the magic of cinema happening for the first time. Well the first time I can remember.

FREEZEFRAME. The words FORMATIVE MOMENT (all caps),appear at the bottom right of the screen.]

JUMP CUT TO:

An extreme zoom into a metal sign saying "MPC"

FADE TO:

INT London Agency. The room is filled with people standing around, eating & drinking in anticipation of an event

NARRATOR (V.O.)

My problem with reviews is thus:

ZOOM IN:

To the crowd and FREEZEFRAME on a young man's upper body & Face. He is about 25 wearing a goatee, drinking from a glass of wine.The following appears to his right.

CRITIC!

• Seen "a lot films"
• Believes that he's not a critic, but a qualified professional
• Believes that the anatomy of a good film review is much like a football match commentary.- That is; a blow by blow account of the story as it unfolds with clichéd pseudo pop culture comments inline (that's the edgy review bit). After all the only way this kind of review could made better is if more plot devices are put under the expositive magnifying glass.

• Has a small penis (OK! I made that up)
• All together displaying a complete lack of what it takes to get something up on screen.
• Doesn't think QT is all that but Pulp Fiction was quite good and Woody Allen's films are all crap because he is a douche.
• And finally has to end every review with a thought provoking question or statement . Well if you have the intellect of used tissue it may challenge your intellect.
  
• Oh yes, has perfect control of English Grammar. So it doesn’t really matter what the review says as long as it's formatted correctly all is well
• Random Example:
  

JUMP CUT TO:

A montage/trailer of Cloverfield

CRITIC (V.O.)

"Basically, it's a YouTube Godzilla. True, when you're not strapped into a cinema seat, the blind, uncomprehending 'what would you do?' panic of what's essentially a terrorist attack in a lizard suit is somewhat less riveting but it's still a rocking, rollercoaster-on-fast-forward blockbuster with a considered political subtext."

DISSOLVE TO:

INT small plush screening room.SLOW PAN across a seated film audience. The camera stops on a man sitting in the audience.

Cormac McCarthy’s The Road is the tale of a desperate father in a hopeless future with one all consuming goal - stay alive to look after his son in a world gone mad. The story follows the two on their journey down to the coast along The Road in a heinous dystopia future
McCarthy draws a sparse, bleak and claustrophobic picture whilst John Hillcoat’s film uncompromisingly shades the grey world with cold ashen chalk. This is “Mad Max with reality turned up to the uncomfortable setting.

The tension and emotional depth of the 3 key characters plight is masterfully, portrayed by Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron and a young Kodi Smit-McPhee and other power house luminaries.

The Road is the emotional equivalent of being punched in the stomach and then being continuously kicked after you have collapsed. Much like Cormac McCarthy’s No Country for Old Men left my parched The Road left my throat raw and hankering for clean air whilst the relentless heavy atmosphere closes in. For a while after it had me pondering hope, futility, duty, desperation, survival and how man can sometimes be his own worst enemy.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

See that man there, his eyes wide and his mouth open. Well that's me, and that's the magic of cinema happening.

Classic Screening: Aliens and Predators All-nighter [ SCI-FI-LONDON OKTOBERFEST]

In space no one can hear you scream

A To celebrate the 30th Anniversary of the very first ALIEN movie (and their 10th All-nighter!) SCI-FI-LONDON is giving you the chance to see these iconic movies as they should be seen - on a big screen from 35mm prints.

The event starts around 10.30 with DJ's in the bar and the first movie starts just after 11.00 - the whole. show ends around 10am the next day. There will be some very cool spot prizes and give-aways and a packed goody-bag. Throughout the night we keep you full of Redbull, Ice-Cream and coffee to help you make it 'til morning.

The line up:
ALIEN
ALIENS
ALIEN3
PREDATOR
PREDATOR 2 (Oops! Sorry) AVP: Alien vs. Predator
Tickets here!
Where
Apollo Piccadilly Circus
19 Regent Street
London
SW1Y 4LR

When
10:30pm Sat 24 - 11am Sun 25 Oct, 2009

Tickets for Monday's screening of Disney's Crimson Flight & QA available

One lake, a million birds, an incredible story

In a remote and forgotten wilderness, one of nature's last great mysteries unfolds: the birth, life and survival of a million crimson-winged flamingos. Against the dramatic backdrop of unforgiving, never-before filmed landscapes, we follow the birth of a tiny flamingo hatchling, and the perils and fortunes of her life in the extraordinary 'other world' of Lake Natron in northern Tanzania.

The first title to be released under the new Disneynature label, THE CRIMSON WING will take you on a breathtaking and beautiful journey through a story that only nature itself could tell.

To download tickets simply go to www.seefilmfirst.com and enter code: 482610

The film starts at 6.30pm. Seefilmfirst tickets must be changed for cinema tickets at the cinema Box Office by 6.15pm. There will be a Q&A with the films producers and director at the end.

Where
Cineworld Haymarket
63-65 Haymarket, London, SW1Y 4RL

When
6.15 for 6:30pm, 21 September, 2009

Hitchcon'09 - Celebrating 30 Years of The Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy

Get yourself a ticket for the biggest party the unfashionable end of the galaxy has ever seen and join best-selling author Eoin Colfer – creator of criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl – and actor Simon Jones, the original Arthur Dent, in a celebration of 30 years of the late, great Douglas Adams’ classic British comedy. This’ll be your first chance to see, hear and buy the sixth instalment, And Another Thing... by Eoin Colfer.

With other out-of-this-world entertainment throughout the day – including special free screenings of the Hitchhiker’s series in The Clore Ballroom – this is one event no self-respecting lover of classic British comedy will want to miss.

One of the best dystopian sci-fi movies to come out of the 70s, Rollerball focuses on an ultra-violent sport used to keep an overpopulated planet under control and probes its links to politics, the media and big conglomerates. When a star player refuses to obey the owners of his team, the stage is set for a Gladiator-like confrontation between a rebellious individual and the corporate power that seeks to crush him.

Events include:
Photo Call
Start the day at a photocall of the largest number of Hitchhiker's fans ever.

Session 1: The Douglas Adams Chat Show
A full panel of Hitchhiker’s experts and friends of Douglas Adams discusses the great man and his work.

Booksigning: Mega-signing of the fantastic new edition of the first five Hitchhiker's novels.

Sessions 2 & 3 (And Another Thing... & Hitchhikers Live On Stage!)
The sixth book in the series, special guests and a live gig – Sessions 2 & 3 of our day-long celebration of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Booksigning: Eoin Colfer
Buy the new sixth book in the series a day before everyone else and get it signed by Eoin Colfer.



Where
The Southbank Centre
Belvedere Road, London, SE1 8XX

When
Sunday 11 October, 2009

Action Overload! IP Man finally comes to the ICA

Everyone needs to choose his own path

An exclusive ICA release. A huge hit in China and Hong Kong, Yip Man or Ip Man is the semi-biographical account of Yip Man, the first martial arts master to teach the Chinese (as well as Bruce Lee) the martial art of Wing Chun.

The charismatic Donnie Yen plays the lead in this period tale set against the backdrop of the second Sino-Japanese War during the 1930s, and Johnnie To favourite Simon Yam also stars. Director Wilson Yip brings his customary dynamism to proceedings, although the man who really pulls it all together is the legendary Sammo Hung. His work here as action choreographer won a Hong Kong Film Award, as did the film itself.

In the scene above a Japanese General is giving out white rice to any Chinese person who defeats the Japanese fighters at a ratio of 1 bag per 1 defeated fighter.

Prior to this scene the General has killed Ip Man's friend (Sifu Liu) in a duel. Ip Man demands a fight with 10 of the black belts. Upon his victory, he refuses to take his reward, the 10 bags of rice and says "I did not come here for the rice". The General asks for his name and Ip Man replies "I am just a Chinese". The interpreter tells the General, "He is Ip Man".

Where
The Institute of Contemporary Arts (ICA)
12 Carlton House Terrace, London, SW1Y 5AH

When
2 - 22 Oct, 2009

Preview of Thirst and Q&A with Park Chan-wook (Old Boy) in London

Curzon Cinemas is delighted to welcome director and writer Park Chan-wook to discuss his latest film in this post screening Q&A.

A priest becomes a vampire… another man’s wife is coveted… a deadly seduction triggers murder. Sang-hyun (played by top Korean star Song Kang-ho, The Host) is a priest who cherishes life so much that he volunteers for a secret vaccine to eradicate a deadly virus. In the process however, he becomes infected by vampire blood and his faith is tested further when a childhood friend’s wife, Tae-ju (Kim Ok-vin), comes to him asking for help. Sang-hyun soon plunges into a world of sensual pleasures, finding himself on intimate terms with the Seven Deadly Sins. The new film from acclaimed director Park Chan-wook (Old Boy) was jointly awarded the Cannes 2009 Jury Prize.




Where
Curzon Soho
99 Shaftesbury Avenue, London, W1D 5DY

When
6:10pm, Monday 5 October, 2009

Classic screening: John Carpenter's The Thing

In a windswept Antarctic research facility, a group of American scientists are terrorised by a shape-shifting extra-terrestrial.

After a helicopter from a neighbouring Norwegian camp is destroyed pursuing a dog and the crazed pilot shot, MacReady (Kurt Russell) and a small team set off to investigate. A grisly discovery awaits them: the camp is populated by mutilated corpses and there's evidence of a long-frozen UFO. Back at the base the stray dog wreaks havoc, undergoing a grotesque transformation and killing the other hounds before being burnt to death. An autopsy on one of the bodies from the Norwegian camp reveals that a chameleon-like alien that can take the form of whatever it kills is at large - and any one of the team could be its host. In an astonishing finale, bodies are ripped apart and limbs are lopped off as paranoia breeds hysteria and the crew are picked off one by one...




Where
Cineworld Cinema (TBC)

When
15 September, 2009

Screening of MOON and Q&A with director Duncan Jones this Friday in London

On Friday 11th September The Prince Charles Cinema (Leicester Sq) have a VERY Special Q&A with Duncan Jones, Director of Moon!

Moon is playing upstairs all week on their brand new screen, however grab this chance to talk to the man who made this spectacular film.


MOON
Sam Bell has a three year contract to work for Lunar Industries. For the contract's entire duration, he is the sole employee based at their lunar station. His primary job responsibility is to harvest and periodically rocket back to Earth supplies of helium-3, the current clean and abundant fuel used on Earth. There is no direct communication link available between the lunar station and Earth, so his only direct real-time interaction is with GERTY, the intelligent computer whose function is to attend to his day to day needs. With such little human contact and all of it indirect, he feels that three years is far too long to be so isolated; he knows he is beginning to hallucinate as the end of his three years approaches...



Director: Duncan Jones
Starring: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey (voice), Matt Berry, Robin Chalk

Where
The Prince Charles Cinema
7 Leicester Place, WC2
Just north off Leicester Sq & up from Häagen-Dazs

When
21:00 Fri 11th Sep Moon plus Q&A
Tickets onsale 5pm Today (Tuesday 8 September)

Preview of Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee and Q&A

Preview of Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee and Q&A with Shane Meadows, Paddy Considine and Mark Herbert.

Rock roadie, Le Donk, has lived, loved and learned. Along the way, he's lost a classy girlfriend but gained a sidekick, Scorz-Ayz-Ee. He sets out to make Scorz a star with a little help from the Artic Monkeys.

 A freewheeling, no-budget experiment by one of the UK’s most prominent and successful producer/director teams, LE DONK was born out of Shane Meadows’ and Mark Herbert’s frustration at the sheer expense of time and money required to get a new project off the ground. Why not just get together an enthusiastic team (including the actor often cited as the De Niro to Meadows’ “Scorsese of the Midlands”, Paddy Considine), cobble together a skeleton script, and simply play for a few days? So, Considine broke out an earlier comic creation of his, an endearing/repellent rock’n’roll roadie known as Donk; an Arctic Monkeys gig provided the backdrop; and Meadows played himself, as a documentary-maker seeking to capture the secrets of a life lived just beyond the reach of the bright lights. Irrepressible fun.

When:
Curzon Soho
99 Shaftesbury Avenue, London ,W1D 5DY
Where:
Sunday 11 October, 4:00pm

Curzon Screen Salon: Special Preview of The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR PARNASSUS AND THE FANTASTIC WORLDS OF TERRY GILLIAM

This Curzon Screen Salon will look back over Terry Gilliam’s career, which has featured as many tragedies and disappointments as it has successes. The Curzon Screen Salons are a series of illustrated lectures before our regular screenings hosted by Ian Haydn Smith, Editor of the International Film Guide.

Dir: Terry Gilliam Starring: Christopher Plummer, Heath Ledger, Tom Waits,

A director seemingly affiliated with bad luck, that Terry Gilliam got to complete this at all is a minor miracle. A fantastical morality tale set in present-day London (for the most part at least), the alternate realities Gilliam spins will be more than familiar to fans of TIME BANDITS and BRAZIL. With more than a hint of Doctor Faustus, the film’s kernel is an ambitious travelling magician whose ambition has caused him to enter a number of deals with the devil, the most personally damaging of which has seen Parnassus (played impeccably by Plummer, THE NEW WORLD) trade immortality for his daughter (Lily Cole) on the occasion of her 16th birthday. A characteristic feast for the senses, the film is a fitting epitaph to Ledger, whose character is also ably portrayed in its transformative states by Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp. Extremely entertaining, the film also has at its heart a larger than life turn from Tom Waits as the devil

Where:
Curzon Soho
99 Shaftesbury Avenue London W1D 5DY

When:
Sunday 11 September, 5pm

Preview of AWAY WE GO plus Live Satellite Q&A with Sam Mendes

Clapham Picturehouse are delighted that director Sam Mendes (AMERICAN BEAUTY, REVOLUTIONARY ROAD) will be joining them for a satellite Q&A following a preview of his new comedy, AWAY WE GO (15).

Thirty-something Burt (Krasinski, JARHEAD) and his heavily pregnant partner Verona (Rudolph) decide to leave Colorado and travel across America in search of the perfect place to bring up baby. Their road trip takes them to Arizona, Wisconsin, Montreal and Florida, and into eye-opening experiences in the company of assorted friends and relatives.



Where
Clapham Picturehouse
76 Venn Street, London SW4 0AT
Tel: 0871 704 2055

When
10-6pm Monday-Friday, 10-2 Saturdays

Special Preview of Michael Haneke's The White Ribbon (Das weiße Band )

The White Ribbon - International Trailer

by ThePlaylist

Strange events happen at a rural school in the north of Germany during the year 1913, which seem to be ritual punishment. Does this affect the school system, and how does the school have an influence on fascism?

Where:
Curzon Mayfair
8 Curzon St
London
W1J 7TY

When:
Sunday 8 November, 5:30pm Sep 2009

Classic screening: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Restoring the Midnight Movie to Chelsea, Curzon’s popular strand of late-night attractions hosts a special screening of cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show, with full audience participation. Join Janet and Brad as they enter the musical world of alien transvestites and Time Warps in one of the must-do events in life! Dressing up is essential and don’t forget to bring the essentials: rice, newspapers, water pistols, torches, rubber gloves, confetti, toilet paper, toast, party hat, bells and cards. Plus, all ticket holders receive a complimentary Jameson cocktail.

Where:
Curzon Cinema Chelsea
206 Kings Road
London
SW3 5XP

When:
Friday 18 September,10:30pm

Trailer for Chan-wook Park's THIRST online (Korean trailer)

Master Korean Film Maker Chan-wook Park (Oldboy, Lady Vengeance, etc.) has made another horror film of sorts. In it Sang-hyun (played by top Korean star Song Kang-ho, of The Host) is a priest who cherishes life; so much so, that he selflessly volunteers for a secret vaccine development project meant to eradicate a deadly virus. But the virus takes the priest, and a blood transfusion is urgently ordered up for him. The blood he receives is infected, so Sang-hyun lives but now exists as a vampire. Struggling with his newfound carnal desire for blood, Sang-hyuns faith is further strained when a childhood friends wife, Tae-ju (Kim Ok-vin), comes to him asking for his help in escaping her life. Sang-hyun soon plunges into a world of sensual pleasures, finding himself on intimate terms with the Seven Deadly Sins.

Special Preview: Away We Go

AWAY WE GO (cert tbc)
Dir: Sam Mendes Starring: John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph, Jeff Daniels, Maggie Gyllenhaal, US 2009.

Directed by Academy Award winner Sam Mendes (REVOLUTIONARY ROAD from an original screenplay by Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, this funny and heartfelt film follows the journey of an expectant couple (Krasinski and Rudolph), as they travel the U.S. in search of the perfect place to put down roots and raise their family.

Away We Go - Theatrical Trailer | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

Along the way, they have misadventures and find fresh connections with an assortment of relatives and old friends who just might help them discover “home” on their own terms for the first time. Sensitively scored by newly discovered folk sensation Alexi Murdoch, this is a beautifully performed work that eloquently speaks of changing lives and perceptions. The cinematography from Ellen Kuras (BE KIND REWIND) is stunning.

Opens 18 Sept
13 September, 1pm
Curzon Mayfair
38 Curzon St London W1J 7TY

Special Preview: The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus and Q&A with Terry Gilliam

Curzon Mayfair proudly welcomes director Terry Gilliam to the stage in a post screening discussion to answer
all audience questions.

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR PARNASSUS
Dir: Terry Gilliam Starring: Christopher Plummer, Heath Ledger, Tom Waits.

A director seemingly affiliated with bad luck, that Terry Gilliam got to complete this at all is a minor miracle. A fantastical morality tale set in present-day London (for the most part at least), the alternate realities Gilliam spins will be more than familiar to fans of TIME BANDITS and BRAZIL. With more than a hint of Doctor Faustus, the film’s kernel is an ambitious travelling magician whose ambition has caused him to
enter a number of deals with the devil, the most personally damaging of which has seen Parnassus (played
impeccably by Plummer, THE NEW WORLD) trade immortality for his daughter (Lily Cole) on the occasion of her 16th birthday. A characteristic feast for the senses, the film is a fitting epitaph to Ledger, whose character is also ably portrayed in its transformative states by Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp.

Extremely entertaining, the film also has at its heart a larger than life turn from Tom Waits as the devil.

Tickets go on general sale on the Curzon website on Friday 4 September.
Wednesday 7 September, 6:10pm
Curzon Mayfair
38 Curzon St London W1J 7TY

Classic screening: Once Upon a Time in the West

There were three men in her life. One to take her... one to love her... and one to kill her.

One of Time's top 100 greatest films ever made. This epic is the story of a mysterious stranger with a harmonica who joins forces with a notorious desperado to protect a beautiful widow from a ruthless assassin working for the railroad.



Newly restored and re-released by the BFI, Sergio Leone's masterpiece uses the epic theme of the industrial destruction of the Old West to frame compelling human dramas,
including the violent revenge odyssey of Harmonica (Charles Bronson).

Once Upon a Time in the West
5 - 7, 10 Sep 2009
Institute of Contemporary Arts
12 Carlton House Terrace
London
SW1Y 5AH

SECRET CINEMA September 2009 Can you dig it?

Ok. This one is for all you summer drifters. Are you ready? There are 40,000 of you out there. 17,000 more on Facebook. Are you with us? Then send the word. Send the word...

The Secret Cinema meet will take place on Sunday 6th of September in a secret outdoor London location. 6pm till late.

Move fast to survive.

Good Luck.

Secret Cinema.

Remember. Tell No-one.

Please Note: This is an outdoor event, so be prepared come rain or shine.

-------------------POSSIBLE SPOILERS-------------------

Based on the above clues (usually a complete red herring) I'm guessing that the great American classic "The Warriors" is up for a little immersive experience. If it is -  this is the ideal opportunity to see this Walter Hill masterpiece.

SECRET CINEMA September 2009
Sunday September 6, 2009 at 6:00pm
Secret Location
London, England

The 2009 Raindance Festival line-up announced

http://www.raindance.co.uk/site/independent-film-festival-2009

Raindance is the UK’s leading independent film festival and each year more and more films achieve success after Raindance screenings. Recent triumphs include IN SEARCH OF A MIDNIGHT KISS (Independent Spirit Award-winner, 2009), TOYLAND (Oscar-winner, Best Short 2009) and ONCE (Oscar-winner, Best Song, 2008).The 2009 Festival line-up can be found here! Short Films will be announced on the 4th of September.



Over the years, the festival has hosted such guests and filmmakers as Christopher Nolan, Shane Meadows, Ken Loach, Marky Ramone, Iggy Pop, Anton Corbijn, Mick Jones, Andrea Arnold, Adam Yauch, Quentin Tarantino, Faye Dunaway and Lou Reed.

But we’re here for the little guys too. Our big-name successes ensure that attention is on the whole programme. Everyone’s looking for the next big indie hit. Our audience of film fans, journalists, acquisition executives, actors, producers and directors know that a screening at the Raindance Film Festival is a sign of quality.

You can see a sneak peak of the full Festival scedule here: Raindance Festival 2009

Preview: Dorian Gray and Q&A with director Oliver Parker and screenwriter Toby Finlay

Oliver Parker directs a strong cast in this adaptation of Oscar Wilde's classic novel of youth, excess and vanity. Adored for his beauty, Dorian Gray can seemingly have anything or anyone his heart desires. When this power is captured in a painting, Dorian wonders what he wouldn't do to stay as beautiful. As the painting begins to show the excesses of an indulgent lifestyle and Dorian himself stays ageless, it seems his wish come true...

The BFI are pleased to announce that this preview will be followed by a Q&A with director Oliver Parker and screenwriter Toby Finlay.

Preview: Dorian Gray and Q&A with director Oliver Parker and screenwriter Toby Finlay
Wednesday September 9, 2009 at 6:20pm
BFI Southbank NFT1
Belvedere Road
London, England SE1 8XT